If you were to ask my kids last night what kind of mom I was there is a very good chance that you would get an answer along the lines of bipolar...if my kids knew what that meant. As I innocently got up to cook last night I had no idea that a chain of events was about to unwind that would change my mood for the weekend. Nor did the kids....
Yesterday was a beautiful day, the sun was out the weather was warm and the kids were excited, they knew that this was almost a promise that they would get to swim. So, I got up and piddled around the yard, watering my plant, planting some plants and just all around enjoying the day. After I came in I cooked the kids lunch and then announced that we would go swimming. They were very excited and could not wait to get outside. The pool was great, the water temperature was perfect and the kids played wonderful together. We stayed in the pool for about two hours then we decided that we had enough for the day.
At that point we came in the house and I took a shower. The whole time I was in the shower the kids would pop in one at a time and announce their hunger to which I assured them that I would start cooking shortly. Apparently this was not enough for W.W. and when I got out of the shower he was eating strawberries. When I seen him I got on to him and told him to put them up. I had no idea but I had started a chain of events.
As soon as I told him to put them up I started cooking and didn't pay much attention to what the kids were doing. I thought they were outside with Michael...he probably thought they were inside with me. Once I got done cooking I immediately started looking for W.W. since I knew he was so hungry. I found Q and Tinkerbell playing in the front yard but no sign of W.W.. I yelled at Michael to see if he was with him and he wasn't. Michael called his Mom to see if he was over there and he wasn't. I checked all of the bedrooms and walked all over the yard screaming his name. Michael rode the four wheeler around looking and calling for him. My MIL and SFIL came outside looking and hollering for him. All of this and still nothing. By this time I was crying and praying almost ready to call 911. Michael decided he was going to check the house one more time when what do you know but there is W.W.....asleep in the laundry room.
Okay, so by the point I was over the edge, I made him get up and explain to me why he was there, I knew he was mad after I made him put the strawberries up. I had a sneaking suspicion that he heard me screaming but I can't prove it. I have tried everything I know to try to make him confess but he is still sticking to the story that he never heard me calling his name. I was so happy to have found him but I still spent the next hour crying and thinking about the way my heart felt during those five minutes that felt like hours. I am not exactly sure what happened to me but I felt on edge all night after that.
So, on to the crazy mom part of the story. My kids through most of the day yesterday had a happy mom, a fun loving mom, a mom that was very tolerant of most anything. That all changed in just the few minutes that I searched for my son. While searching for him I went to their bedroom, a room I don't visit often due to the fact that we disagree on how it should look. I think that it should look like human children live there, not perfect but reasonably clean. They think it should looked like a landfill where people have taken years worth of trash and junk to dump. Well, when I visited the room I found that once again it looked like a landfill, I knew that if W.W. was in there we would never find him so I left the room to go look in more hopeful areas. After finding him however I came unglued I told the kids that I was tired of living in a pig pen and they were fixing to change!
That was at about five last night and the only time I have seen my three children since then has been for them to eat, for them to go to sleep or the times I have walked back there to check the progress on clearing the landfill. On most of my trips back there I have ended up standing in the door and lecturing them on how life isn't fair and how it isn't fair for me to work my butt of cleaning up after them while they don't even appreciate it but it still has to be done. Every time I give one of these speeches I get the same result from the kids....they stare at me like I have lost my mind.
I hope after the rooms get clean that I can go back to being happy mom again. I really hate being the way I am today but it seems as if I take and take and take then they do one final thing that pushes me over the edge. Then I become the crazy mom and they probably go to church and ask for prayer for me. Oh well, at least they are all safe and sound. I am so thankful that W.W. was okay and that all I was left to worry about was the landfill in the back half of my house. I hope that when the kids grow up that they can remember the happy times and not just the times when I went nuts. I would hate for those to be the memories they hold on to.
Well, I am off to check the progress once again, if they are cleaning they are doing it very quietly and that would be hard to believe. I hope you have all had a great weekend and here is to a wonderful week ahead. April